Just got back from McDonald’s with the kids!!! Love that place!
I have been doing nothing but looking on Facebook for the last 53 minutes and so now I feel like I need to post something that acknowledges that I have wasted time while still establishing the illusion that I normally work hard.
I ate alone at Fuddruckers for lunch today, just like I did yesterday.
I took the kids to the library today for five minutes while they picked out all the movies they wanted to watch. Then we came home and watched them. And now it is 4:30.
I am thinking of getting a divorce. How has that worked out for some of you?
The Golden Globes fashions page on E!online is worth my time because it has pictures of famous people wearing fancy dresses and tuxedoes.
My two-year-old just can’t get enough Cheetos!
We went to Key West but it was lame so I didn’t take any pictures.
I just walked out to watch the sunset, snapped this picture, then I immediately came back inside to post it and now here it is! I think the sun is still setting outside but I don’t really know.
I just yelled at my five year old that he is not living up to his potential. Hopefully he’ll live up to it next time.
My husband is kind of lazy, I think.
I have an amazing picture of me and the family overlooking the ocean from our hotel room in Belize, and I look really skinny in it, but I am not going to show you because you gain nothing in your life by me showing it to you while you are looking at Facebook from your dreary home late at night while your husband toggles between Sportscenter and Two and a Half Men. I would gain Hobbesian joy over you by posting it, but I am trying to be a better “friend.”
My kids don’t like books. They think reading is boring. So does my husband, and me too.
My wife looks really weird when she cries.
I am pretty sure my youngest two have a learning disability but it is hard to identify exactly what it is.
While we were in New York as a family, our automatic upload feature on the iphone broke, so we spent the next day watching tv in the hotel.
I made this recipe for peppercrusted tilapia over tortilla soup and it turned out not very good. I am not a very good cook even though I try hard.
I am hoping that everyone will understand who I am by looking at what political party I am affiliated with.
For a long time, I thought I was naturally smart and clever, but I don’t really think that anymore because I started to recognize that I have nothing interesting to say mainly because I am not thinking interesting things.
The university I go to is not that great, is it?
I am pretty unsatisfied with my life choices even though my pictures suggest otherwise. Any recommendations?
I only have pictures of me with other people because I am pretty lonely and I don’t get invited to social events, so when I do I take pictures.
I have been doing nothing but looking on Facebook for the last 53 minutes and so now I feel like I need to post something that acknowledges that I have wasted time while still establishing the illusion that I normally work hard.
I ate alone at Fuddruckers for lunch today, just like I did yesterday.
I took the kids to the library today for five minutes while they picked out all the movies they wanted to watch. Then we came home and watched them. And now it is 4:30.
I am thinking of getting a divorce. How has that worked out for some of you?
The Golden Globes fashions page on E!online is worth my time because it has pictures of famous people wearing fancy dresses and tuxedoes.
My two-year-old just can’t get enough Cheetos!
We went to Key West but it was lame so I didn’t take any pictures.
I just walked out to watch the sunset, snapped this picture, then I immediately came back inside to post it and now here it is! I think the sun is still setting outside but I don’t really know.
I just yelled at my five year old that he is not living up to his potential. Hopefully he’ll live up to it next time.
My husband is kind of lazy, I think.
I have an amazing picture of me and the family overlooking the ocean from our hotel room in Belize, and I look really skinny in it, but I am not going to show you because you gain nothing in your life by me showing it to you while you are looking at Facebook from your dreary home late at night while your husband toggles between Sportscenter and Two and a Half Men. I would gain Hobbesian joy over you by posting it, but I am trying to be a better “friend.”
My kids don’t like books. They think reading is boring. So does my husband, and me too.
My wife looks really weird when she cries.
I am pretty sure my youngest two have a learning disability but it is hard to identify exactly what it is.
While we were in New York as a family, our automatic upload feature on the iphone broke, so we spent the next day watching tv in the hotel.
I made this recipe for peppercrusted tilapia over tortilla soup and it turned out not very good. I am not a very good cook even though I try hard.
I am hoping that everyone will understand who I am by looking at what political party I am affiliated with.
For a long time, I thought I was naturally smart and clever, but I don’t really think that anymore because I started to recognize that I have nothing interesting to say mainly because I am not thinking interesting things.
The university I go to is not that great, is it?
I am pretty unsatisfied with my life choices even though my pictures suggest otherwise. Any recommendations?
I only have pictures of me with other people because I am pretty lonely and I don’t get invited to social events, so when I do I take pictures.
Awesome, James. I'll never understand status updates.
ReplyDeleteYou're killin', James. You are revealing the true sad message hidden by the microstyled facade.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking fb would be muchest more awesomer if it was somehow hooked up to our consciousness and made automatic, unedited random posts of what we were actually thinking. I'd start paying more--or, honestly, some--attention.