October 14, 2010
PEC members,
Just when you thought I would forget to send out the reminder
email to send me agenda items, I reminded myself. Looking forward to seeing
your agenda descriptions and the authors behind them this Sunday at 10:00,
James "Brother" Lambert
April 7, 2011
Good Morning Friends, Brothers, Sisters,
The Return of Ward Council opens this week, 7:30 on Sunday morning in the Bishop's office. Critics have hailed: "Stand up and cheer!" --Brother Keisling; "The feel-good meeting of the year!" --Brother Christensen; "If you have to go to one meeting this year, make it Ward Council." --Sister Gailey; "It might just change your life, forever." --Brother Lambert.
Please send me your agenda items so the meeting can live up to expectations. Thanks,
April 21, 2011
Brothers and Sisters, Presidentes and Presidentas,
The most wonderful thing about our Easter Meetings is that
they will be held at home with our families. Bishopric Meeting, Ward Council,
BYC, and BYD are all cancelled for the holiday. The three-hour block is not
cancelled, though, so don't take it too far. Enjoy, and we will resume our
regular schedule in May.
Brother Lambert
May 4, 2011
Ward Council,
We will be holding a special Mother's Day Ward Council
meeting this Sunday at 7:30. In honor of Mothers, we will be starting with
handbook instruction from me and a prayer from Br. Johnson. We will then, in
honor of Mothers, address the business and/or pressing concerns of each
auxiliary, quorum, and organization. We will close with a prayer from Br.
Christensen, again in honor of Mothers. Please do not miss this special
Mother's Day Ward Council. In order to maximize the efficacy of the event,
please send me your agenda items.
Brother Lambert
May
12, 2011
FYI: PEC is this Sun. for: HP, EQ, WM, YM, etc. Handbook:
WM; Prayer: EQ.
RSVP by sending agenda items. Possible discussions covering:
BYC, BYD, PPI, LDS, BSA, BYU, TLC.
Thx,
Br. Lambert
May 20, 2011
Ward Council,
It is the fourth Sunday of the month, which could only mean
two things: 1) it has been three weeks since fast Sunday, and 2) the month is
closer to ending than beginning. Oh, and it is Ward Council, which means you
need to send me your agenda items.
Brother Lambert
June 9, 2011
Hearken, all ye that doth take upon the mantel of quorum and
auxiliary kingship, ye have been called and chosen to gather on the morn of
June 12! Be there or be square! Thou shouldst not forget thy many items of
business, for I will take them and perform a great work of agenda-making, and
thou wilst partake in that exquisite joy that cometh from a full agenda.
Thy anxious but otherwise engaged and humble servant,
Brother Lambert
July 7, 2011
Ward Council Meeting waits for us to feed it with agenda
items, or else it is unhappy, like the cannibal plant in "Little Shop of
Horrors." Ward Council Meeting is not cannibalistic, though--it thrives on
compassion and productivity. Please help me satiate its hungry soul.
Brother Lambert
July 21, 2011
There is a reason that the weather will dip under 90 with lower
humidity by Sunday. It's called Ward Council. The secular days of the week are
being punished for their unrighteousness, but Sunday will be blessed, as will
you if you send me agenda items for Ward Council.
Brother Lambert
September
8. 2011
A former student of mine made an elaborate argument once
that vowells are unnecessary, so let's see if this works:
Ths Sndy's Wrd Cncl. Pls snd mprtnt bzns t Jms Lmbrt.
"Agenda" was impossible, as was "me".
Maybe the brilliant texting generation will smooth out the kinks, but I hope
not. Of all the things to argue as unnecessary, vowells don't seem to be at the
top of my list. The top of my list would be derrier-sculpting shoe soles. At
any rate, send me your agenda items for this Sunday.
Brother Lambert
October
13, 2011
Church
Siblings,
The Bishop has requested that we hold Ward Council this week instead of PEC so we can catch up. Next week we will also hold Ward Council. The week after that is Stake Conference, then fast Sunday, then Ward Council again. So, please send me agenda items for this Sunday.
Please note, as well, that two Thursdays from now, directly following the Trunk Treat, we will be holding a special calendar meeting. Please plan your 2012s as an organization or quorum before that date so that we can use it to quickly coordinate. So, to sum up in poem form:
Ward Council this Sunday, not PEC,
Next week as well, at 7:thir-tee
Two Thursdays from now, we'll also meet
And schedule next year, after trunkin' the treat.
Please plan your year before that date
So that we can quickly coordinate.
Great.
Brother Lambert
The Bishop has requested that we hold Ward Council this week instead of PEC so we can catch up. Next week we will also hold Ward Council. The week after that is Stake Conference, then fast Sunday, then Ward Council again. So, please send me agenda items for this Sunday.
Please note, as well, that two Thursdays from now, directly following the Trunk Treat, we will be holding a special calendar meeting. Please plan your 2012s as an organization or quorum before that date so that we can use it to quickly coordinate. So, to sum up in poem form:
Ward Council this Sunday, not PEC,
Next week as well, at 7:thir-tee
Two Thursdays from now, we'll also meet
And schedule next year, after trunkin' the treat.
Please plan your year before that date
So that we can quickly coordinate.
Great.
Brother Lambert
October
20, 2011
Ward Councilors,
Seems that my vigorous bid to continue hanging out with all of you after the trunk or treat was unsuccessful. Oh well--our online calendar scheduling instead of our actual calendar meeting after the Treated Trunk signals our move into the twenty-first century. By the way, I read some statistics yesterday that show that people who identify themselves as "happy" have face-to-face social interactions 6 to 7 hours a day. This does not include online interactions. No link has yet been made between happiness and online or face-to-face calendar scheduling, so we can be the first test group.
At any rate, please send me your agenda items for Ward Council on Sunday morning.
Brother Lambert
Seems that my vigorous bid to continue hanging out with all of you after the trunk or treat was unsuccessful. Oh well--our online calendar scheduling instead of our actual calendar meeting after the Treated Trunk signals our move into the twenty-first century. By the way, I read some statistics yesterday that show that people who identify themselves as "happy" have face-to-face social interactions 6 to 7 hours a day. This does not include online interactions. No link has yet been made between happiness and online or face-to-face calendar scheduling, so we can be the first test group.
At any rate, please send me your agenda items for Ward Council on Sunday morning.
Brother Lambert
November
26, 2011
Just
because the intake of way too many hors d'ouvres, ruining my eating experience
for the rest of the weekend, prevented me from emailing everyone; just because
I had the horrible idea to go to Kohl's at midnight on Thursday for a
mother-in-law favor; just because I never knew about the amount of people that
belong to the church of consumerism encroaching on our sacred Thanksgiving
time; just because I had more hors d'ouvres at 1:30 when I got home from Kohl's
and almost died from heartburn the next day does not mean we won't have ward council. It just means I forgot to
email everyone about it on time. Please send me your items--there will be a new
format for the agenda!!!
Brother Lambert
Brother Lambert
December
8, 2011
Presidents,
Counselors, Bishops, Leaders, and Steven Stong,
This week Ward Council will descend upon us like seagulls to beach food, like eagles to surface fish, like pigeons to ladies in hats, like crows to unsuspecting bikers, like vultures to the zebra carcass, like ominous ravens to Vivien Leigh, but we will not be unprepared prey nor carcasses. We will rise up and be prepared, often killing two birds with one stone, or saving two birds with one net, as is your preference. We can only be prepared by congregating our agenda items so that two organizations with the same agenda item may be made as one, and it will be good, and those two birds will be saved, or killed. And the circle of life in the Iowa City 2nd Ward will continue.
Brother Lambert
This week Ward Council will descend upon us like seagulls to beach food, like eagles to surface fish, like pigeons to ladies in hats, like crows to unsuspecting bikers, like vultures to the zebra carcass, like ominous ravens to Vivien Leigh, but we will not be unprepared prey nor carcasses. We will rise up and be prepared, often killing two birds with one stone, or saving two birds with one net, as is your preference. We can only be prepared by congregating our agenda items so that two organizations with the same agenda item may be made as one, and it will be good, and those two birds will be saved, or killed. And the circle of life in the Iowa City 2nd Ward will continue.
Brother Lambert
P.S.
I meant "ominous crows to Jessica Tandy." You see, that movie
traumatized me when I was young, and I am still suffering from "The
Birds" PTSD. I am also suffering from "Gone With the Wind" PTSD
because my parents made me watch it too much, so you can understand the
confusion.
Jan
27, 2012
Ward Council,
In the words of the great old tools collector and amateur poet Donald Rumsfeld, there are knowns and there are unknowns--known knowns and known unknowns, but what is worse are the unknown unknowns, the things we know we don't know and the things we don't know we don't know. In Ward Council, we try to cover all the known unknowns and make them into known knowns, and take the unknown unknowns and make them into known unknowns. This is a mighty task, and we cannot do it without our special forces on the ground, which are you. For example, I know I don't know some of the names on the last Ward Council agenda, so we might bring those names up again in the Ward Council, but I don't know if I don't know the names on this Sunday's Ward Council because they have not yet been sent to me, which makes them unknown unknowns. This is why proper agendas work, as do meetings with our special forces.
This Sunday at 10 hours in the Bishop's Office, we'll have our Ward Council Meeting to discuss this. Please send me your agenda items before Saturday night at 23 hours.
Over and out,
Brother Lambert
In the words of the great old tools collector and amateur poet Donald Rumsfeld, there are knowns and there are unknowns--known knowns and known unknowns, but what is worse are the unknown unknowns, the things we know we don't know and the things we don't know we don't know. In Ward Council, we try to cover all the known unknowns and make them into known knowns, and take the unknown unknowns and make them into known unknowns. This is a mighty task, and we cannot do it without our special forces on the ground, which are you. For example, I know I don't know some of the names on the last Ward Council agenda, so we might bring those names up again in the Ward Council, but I don't know if I don't know the names on this Sunday's Ward Council because they have not yet been sent to me, which makes them unknown unknowns. This is why proper agendas work, as do meetings with our special forces.
This Sunday at 10 hours in the Bishop's Office, we'll have our Ward Council Meeting to discuss this. Please send me your agenda items before Saturday night at 23 hours.
Over and out,
Brother Lambert
February
23, 2012
In
our lovely Deseret
Where the Council time is set
There's a multitude of items to discuss
So please send events and names
To whom Pres. Scott calls Brother James
And then the Bishop will happily not fuss.
Despising tea, coffee, and tobacco,
Brother Lambert
Where the Council time is set
There's a multitude of items to discuss
So please send events and names
To whom Pres. Scott calls Brother James
And then the Bishop will happily not fuss.
Despising tea, coffee, and tobacco,
Brother Lambert
March
8. 2012
My
son Henry took a look at my printed agenda before I left to Ward
Council a few weeks and told me that there was nothing to
discuss on it. He then told me that because there was nothing on it, I needed
to stay home with him. Please keep me honest by sending agenda items, for
Henry's sake.
Brother Jaime Santiago Schroder del Lamberto, ole!
Brother Jaime Santiago Schroder del Lamberto, ole!
April
12, 2012
Dear
Gospel Siblings,
After what seems like an eternity, especially to those of us who did not put lamb blood on our door so we were hit with the Rotavirus or something awfully similar (or similarly awful), we are back to our regular Ward Council schedule. This means that I need agenda items, those things that have lingered or arrived since our last meeting, like the spring lilacs, or dandelions as the case may be. I look forward to hearing back.
Brother Lambert
After what seems like an eternity, especially to those of us who did not put lamb blood on our door so we were hit with the Rotavirus or something awfully similar (or similarly awful), we are back to our regular Ward Council schedule. This means that I need agenda items, those things that have lingered or arrived since our last meeting, like the spring lilacs, or dandelions as the case may be. I look forward to hearing back.
Brother Lambert
May
15, 2012
The
semester has ended, but life in general persists, so we must forge ahead.
Because we cannot subscribe to George Bernard Shaw's idea that "Alcohol is
the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life," we must choose
alternatives, like meetings and church. Our ward council meeting this week will help us endure the operation of
life by giving it organization, so we must have agenda items. And in order to
happily endure the meeting, we also need agenda items, not alcohol.
As Henry Fielding, the great comic novelist, said, "He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatness of soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported with the latter." Our ward prospers by the adversity of organizing, so go get 'em, give 110%, and leave it all out on the field.
I thought some motivation would help everyone get excited and send me some bullet points. Lambert out.
As Henry Fielding, the great comic novelist, said, "He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatness of soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported with the latter." Our ward prospers by the adversity of organizing, so go get 'em, give 110%, and leave it all out on the field.
I thought some motivation would help everyone get excited and send me some bullet points. Lambert out.
24
May 2012
Dear
Ward Council,
All right, stop. collaborate and listen
Ward Council is back with a brand new invention
Somethin . . . grab a hold of me tightly
Must be my anticipation nightly
Of the second Ward Council week in a row
You'll have to repent if you don't want to go
At 10:00 sharp, we'll start up, so light your candles
And make sure you wear sunday shoes and not sandals,
Hence,
Rush out items for the agenda
So the meeting goes down sweet like a packet of Splenda
Easy, to have all on the page
Anything less puts your ES in a rage
If there is a problem,
Yo, we'll solve it
Check out the way our discussion dissolves it.
Brother Lambert
P.S. Your Executive Secretary realizes his days are coming to a close. Next I am going to remove all E's and S's from the Clerk's office computer. Beware, Stong, beware.
All right, stop. collaborate and listen
Ward Council is back with a brand new invention
Somethin . . . grab a hold of me tightly
Must be my anticipation nightly
Of the second Ward Council week in a row
You'll have to repent if you don't want to go
At 10:00 sharp, we'll start up, so light your candles
And make sure you wear sunday shoes and not sandals,
Hence,
Rush out items for the agenda
So the meeting goes down sweet like a packet of Splenda
Easy, to have all on the page
Anything less puts your ES in a rage
If there is a problem,
Yo, we'll solve it
Check out the way our discussion dissolves it.
Brother Lambert
P.S. Your Executive Secretary realizes his days are coming to a close. Next I am going to remove all E's and S's from the Clerk's office computer. Beware, Stong, beware.
Reading your Greatest Hits almost makes me wish I could have looked forward to your regular email messages. It does not make me wish I had to attend ward council. Still, I will miss you and Kathryn more than you might think.
ReplyDeleteThe missing is more directed from us to you. This move has been very sad for the both of us, if you haven't been able to tell. And there are some families that can't be replaced. On the second to last day I was in Iowa, I was driving on Melrose and I saw Noah walking along the road on his way home from somewhere. For some reason, I had a pretty emotional reaction to it. You guys meant a lot to us.
ReplyDeleteWhere did you move to?
ReplyDeleteKuwait. Not kidding. We'll be in California through August, and then we'll head out for our next step of craziness.
ReplyDeleteWhoah! You're a brave soul, with a brave family to boot!
ReplyDeleteI found this while mindlessly reading articles on facebook tonight. Thanks, I needed it. We just got back from another fun trip to Detroit. Tell Kathryn I will send an e-mail next week, my boy is getting drops every hour again, so I don't get much else done. Miss you all!!
ReplyDelete